Recently I spotted a parallel emerging in my life. Can you spot it?
Things are going well…
I live in a beautiful valley in the Forest of Bowland AONB. I chose to live here, designed the house around our family and picked out every detail myself. I spend a lot of my time here, looking out. The views from my kitchen are stunning, ever-changing with the light and the seasons. I’m sheltered from the raging wind and rain; cosy and safe.
- I work from home, in my vibrant new business. I chose the business myself, designed it to fit perfectly around my unique skillset and crafted it to fit around our family life. I spend a lot of my time here, looking out. The view of my social media feed is enchanting, ever-changing with the personalities and the seasons. I’m sheltered from comment and criticism; cosy and safe.
I’m independent and in control…
It’s important for me to do everything around the home myself. I want to be seen as capable, efficient, in control. Not weak or lazy. It wouldn’t make sense to spend money on something I can do myself for free, so I’ll always find time for cleaning and gardening, grocery shopping and decorating. It doesn’t matter if they eat into my down-time, it’s just important that I did everything myself.-
- It’s important for me to do everything around in my business myself. I want to be seen as capable, efficient, in control. Not weak or lazy. It wouldn’t make sense to spend money on something I can do myself for free, so I’ll always find time for accounts and branding, social media and packing orders. It doesn’t matter if they eat into my family time, it’s just important that I did everything myself.
And yet, something is missing.
Sometimes, I get a bit low, on my own in the beautiful valley. I make myself remember that there is a world outside of my valley. With people to talk to; inspiration and exercise to be found, in other, equally lovely places.
- Sometimes, I get a bit low, on my own in my vibrant new business. I make myself remember that there is a world outside of my business. With people to talk to; ideas and connections to be found, with other, equally exciting businesses.
Connection.
So I leave the valley and go to the local town to see what’s new, or the gym, or meet up with friends for lunch. And it’s always just what I needed; it absolutely fills me up. Talking to other humans I find myself grinning and it feels odd, almost as if it’s been a while.
- So I leave the business and go to the local networking group to see what’s new or sit in a cafe just thinking, or meet other small-business-owner friends for lunch. And it’s always just what I needed; it absolutely fills me up. Talking to other humans I find myself grinning and it feels odd, almost as if it’s been a while.
Striking isn’t it?!
I’ve seen everything from a fresh point of view, from a new angle, it shakes things up in my mind so that solutions become clearer.
- I meet with potential clients and get a real buzz as I start to wonder how I can help with a particular problem, developing my style and methodology.
- I meet other coaches and trade ideas, loving how different we all are.
- Talking to other small business owners I realise that we so often share a need to do it all on our own, but there’s no glory in that… there is a true joy however in getting out of the valley, letting other humans in, sharing the workload*, and enjoying a different view on the world.
* I’m organising a cleaner this week. The accountant is already briefed.
What I’ve noticed, most importantly, is that whenever I’ve been out I always feel better, brighter when I get home.
More resilient. With new ideas and fresh energy. A better mum, wife and business owner.
I believe we all need some level of connection and support; wherever we are on the introvert / extrovert scale, it’s hardwired into humans, however easy today’s world makes it for us to live an isolated life.
(Please check out Lost Connections by Johann Hard for more on why connection is so important for humans)
See you out there soon?
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