My favourite tip for building self-belief

Here’s what I want to share with you today… 

Very simply, someone asked me “what did you achieve this week?”  and what came next gave me such a boost!

It was in a women’s networking group on Facebook; we rose to it gladly and surprised ourselves with our answers… it surprised me just how surprised we were! Or did it? Maybe not… But it did get me thinking about one my favourite things; building self-belief. 

We’re taught not to brag.

It’s not polite, not the done thing. It’s brash and show-off-y. Talking about what I’ve done well always felt to me like ‘bragging’ and so as I was growing up (especially as one of the quieter ones), I quickly developed the habit of downplaying my wins…

“It was easy, anyone could do it”

“Oh that? it was nothing”.

Sound familiar?

So, a few years ago we had this quote up on the wall in the office and I rolled my eyes each time I went past.

Whatever. I just didn’t get it at all. 

And then, fast forward a few years & include a few changes to my own life

• re-training as a life coach
• taking time to work with a coach on my own self-doubt/self-belief
• starting my own business & going to networking events where I had to tell people about my successes
• studying NLP and suddenly understanding why it’s ok essential to own our achievements in order to build self-belief…

Aha! It really isn’t braggin’ if you done it!

Let’s re-frame it as simply sharing. Does that feel better? (I wrote more about it here, last year around the time it dawned on me; it feels so long ago now! And yes Lighten Up is still available, get in touch to find out more!) 

So, why is it essential to own our achievements?

Quite simply, we build our belief in ourselves when we notice what we can do, and we solidify those things by writing them down, or telling others.

In doing this, we build a heap of great examples to look back over when we need a boost, and over time we change our in-built filter to look for more positive evidence that we can do it!

On the other hand, we build self-doubt by noticing what we can’t do, solidifying those things and building evidence of our perceived failures, again filtering for additional proof of the same; we can’t do it… 

Let me ask you then, if you knew it wasn’t bragging to tell the world what you’ve done this week, what would you share?  

I would share this:

• I planted up a beautiful new corner of our garden with bamboo and grasses. I designed it myself, worked hard digging out the clay, barrowing in topsoil and spreading mulch. It looks peaceful and amazing,.
• I hosted a truly wonderful workshop, got really comfortable with my content, met some lovely people and I know they had a great day with me.
• I was patient and kind with my son as he went through a wobble, finding a calm I didn’t know I had, keeping a strong connection with him, and allowing him to find his own way back to ok-ness. 

Building self-belief really can be this simple. 

How about you? I would love to hear your achievements! Email me or share on my Facebook page. 

Or simply write them down for yourself (remembering that small victories count too!) at the end of each day or each week.

Own them, they are truly yours, and there will be more, each and every week.